This is a weird way to spend a day -trying to decide what kind of tombstone to purchase for my friend. She had been estranged from her blood relations for quite a few years, but had many friends in her community. An amazing person, in some ways, and a bit of a cactus in others….

For some reason she trusted me to be her “executor” although there wasn’t much to execute. One of our other friends who still lived in her community was the resident angel who. visited her regularly in the nursing home and cared for her lovingly, consistently and with great dignity and grace. She is an angel.

So, my job is to select a tombstone and get the ashes from the cremation company and have her ashes buried and the tombstone installed next to her husband’s spot. But, for some reason, I keep putting this off. I don’t know what to say on this marker. I have the dates she was born and died, and her name, but I don’t feel like I know her enough to make the final statement on her tombstone. She was a deeply religious person (Christian faith), and talked often of heaven being her real home and of her Father there who loved her and would welcome her. Her life had been lacking a lot in the loving and welcoming part….she lost her mother when she was young. Our friend, the angel, shared how touching it was to see the nurses caring for her in such intimate ways and how she softened as she soaked up the kindness and love she found in this not so deluxe nursing home. She became gentler with people….there are gifts even in the dark places.

I guess what I will say on the tombstone will be her name, and the dates of her earthly existence, and that she is forever loved….