INSOMNIAC

In the night when things are quiet

My brain decides to start a riot

No enemy to battle, so it fights with me

And my imagination is cut loose, dangerously free!

Worries pop up like mushrooms in manure 

The fence is unlocked – my mind runs off to wander

Unsupervised, troublemaking – we’ll wait and see

How much trouble this adventure is gonna cause me.

What will go wrong? Complications are frequent

In this surgery hurtling at me like a 2000 lb. bomb…

Can I be tough, stay positive, will I fold or stay strong?

Only God knows (and as usual, He’s not telling).

Things will be better when this is all done

“Cause there’s nothing new anywhere under the sun

I have no control of what will happen

Just show up to get fixed ‘cause I’m obviously broken.

Cancer sucks.  It isn’t fair.  

I wish it was gone but it’s still here.  

But I am so blessed to be where I am, 

in a world where there’s help

(And I’m loved by this man who doesn’t give up).

So many people go through this stuff alone

But I am loved and grateful 

Even though I’m navigating through this thick, damp fog

Even though I can’t see it, I’m gonna believe

I’m in the hands of a loving God.

January 6, 2023

5 days before a pretty extensive  cancer surgery….