Prodigal Mother

You wanted a son, someone to love better than you were loved
You wanted a son, to hold your lover to you,
thinking that cord could not be broken
(He would have to stay, since his character that wouldn’t let him just run away.)

But you never thought what it meant to love someone more than yourself…
To put their needs above yours, even when tired, depressed or bored.
You never thought about the work required to have a place to live,
Food to eat, access to medical care, pay the bills AND meet the demands of a little person.

Instead of a grown-up woman, you wanted to still be a child in a grown-up body –
having time to go play, get lots of presents, with people doing and providing for you…
You don’t understand what it cost them in so many ways – your enablers trying so hard
To give you a break, encourage you to get help, trying to model what adulthood is like.

You thought we all worked too hard, too long, too often, too much.
You didn’t want that. You wanted the exciting bad boy. Escape. Euphoria. Fentanyl.
You are lucky you are still alive. That could change if you don’t change. You could die.
Please change. Please choose. Please stay alive. Please run from the path you have chosen.

And while your baby’s daddy grieves the loss of his mom, and loss of faith in you to adult up,
You expect him to pay the bills for you and your bad boy, work two jobs,
And provide you all with housing and cash… are you nuts?

Like another prodigal long ago, you squandered the opportunities you’ve been given.
You used and stole from people who care about you.
You lied and manipulated like addicts do…
But one day, hopefully, you will open your eyes and realize where you’ve ended up.

What you’re doing isn’t going to work this time
If you don’t know how to fix it, humble yourself.
Get honest
Ask for help to learn to do it different.
Go to treatment. Listen to how other people got better.
Please stay alive.
If you’re alive, there’s still hope.

Teresa Norman June 20, 2022

Wind from Heaven

Lord, we are scattered, tribal and confused
We shout aloud and louder trying to be heard
It’s as if we are speaking a different language
And no one is listening -we wound each other…
It bears no good fruit. We wonder what went wrong –
Why can’t the “other guy” just know we are right….

But your Word gives us hope –
At Pentecost, you sent your spirit
Those gathered heard a loud noise, like a wind from heaven.
Tongues of fire rested on their heads
You touched them and then
They spoke language your spirit gave-
Language understood by those gathered from every nation…
The people marveled that they could understand

Our words, our actions, our Christian cultural thing –
It’s so foreign to so many…are they “lost” or are we?
People of every nation listened to the words of God
In language they could understand because the Spirit came…
God, breathe on us,
Wind from heaven
Fill our mouths with words
that will be understood by those who listen…
Pour out your spirit on every nation
Help your sons and daughters speak your word…
Breathe on us, wind from heaven.

Give us strength to walk the good road with you
Release us from our broken, twisted ways.
Give us humility to learn from and hear one another.
To see the beauty in the variety of humans you have made.
Together we meet at the foot of your cross
Together we take the bread and wine and remember who you are
Why you came…we remember you.

Teresa Norman 6/7/2022

Dear Southern Baptist Leadership…

It is with almost unspeakable grief that I read the report of how you, like SO many other church leaders, have covered up the abuse of women and children and made excuses for the abusers.

The destructive power of intimidating those who try to tell of what happened to them and how their lives are impacted appears to be beyond your comprehension.

Let me try to help you out on this…

Years ago, I wrote a collection of poems sharing what child abuse looks like from the child’s perspective. While the circumstances/details of each person’s abuse are different, these glimpses into abuse through a child’s eyes have helped some people see a little bit more. The view gets SO clouded and SO dark when it is clergy who abused you. I know, because the youth group leader in my church was a serial molester. He started with his owns sisters as a young man and graduated to the “sheep” he was supposed to “shepherd.” Here is a sample of the poems:

Child of Mind

Look, you child rapist, what did you mean
When you made that saintly sick little scene?

In your nice blue suit, oh SO “righteously”
You sang in “tribute” of your mom’s memory.

The church was full of people you knew,
But oh, you fraud! if they only knew you!!

Instead of your smiling religious face
They’d watch you roast and twist In Hot disgrace.

Perhaps your victims would cut off your….
And nail them up to a handy wall….

We’d get revenge for what you’ve done
In the “name of God” – (May His Kingdom come!).

We’d shout your secrets nice and loud –
Tell what you did and broadcast how
In the name of “love” and a “Shepherd’s concern”
You screwed your sheep, each one by turn.

And those who needed God’s love could find
A pastoral pervert to mess up their minds.

You hypocrite!! I wish you knew
Just what it was you put us through!

We paid a price for believing your lies.
Most of us still live and hope you die
Slowly!

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For more poems “From the Child”. please see fromthechild.wordpress.com

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat Shalom

Gray fog dissipates on the horizon
Torrential rain beats on the roof-
Drips with splashy drops into the gray canal
Seagulls squack, more gray and white color
In a shaded collection of potential gloom.

Slowly gliding by, a seal fishes for breakfast
As I have coffee and watch the gloom rise….
December…a strange time of year.

Hustle and bustle and jingle bells
And dashing through the snow
Searching for things and bargains
And happiness in places it can’t be found
Seems so unrelated to my world today —
(a simple world of slopping through the rain
as I try to get my dog to do her thing so we can go back inside)

I give thanks for being removed from the bustle
Even for a moment
As my puppy snores blissfully back on the bed
And we get ready to meet with people we love
And celebrate how far so many have come
To be here today in so many ways….

Shalom….

A Lament for the Displaced

See the mother as she’s running, tiny baby in her arms,

Fleeing from the soldiers and their tanks and guns and bombs… 

She’s exhausted, cold and desperate, her children hungry, full of fear –

How can she know You love her-that You walk beside here there?

Her enemies surround them. Her city’s being burned,

The bombs fell on the church as well… So many have been killed.

Their food and homes are taken because the government wills

To destroy them as a people and make them disappear.

God of justice, are you hiding? Can you hear these people cry?

Where is Your wrath and anger as the bombs fall from the sky?

Are You sleeping or on a journey? (This mother waits to hear.)

Help us welcome You and her family if injustice brings them here.

In her, I see You hungry, 

Clothe her children, we’re clothing you.

Her husband is a warrior 

Fighting evil to bring rescue

Protestors go to prison

Please God, hear their cry

Let them know they’re not alone

Let Your people cry with them…

Lord, forgive us for our silence as dictators scheme and bomb

Forgive us for our silence as the weak are crushed by the strong.

Let us cry out against this evil, loud enough so that you hear, 

Help us quit arguing with each other

About what doesn’t matter, making ourselves important

As you stand and wait….

As hungry, displaced, frightened people

Seek help….we argue about laws and who is worthy

You are the truth – banish our lies

You are the light-drive out our darkness

You are the way. Help us! We are lost!

We ask for your mercy, which we don’t deserve.

Help us stand with those who need to know You are near.

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Lament for the Lonely

She sits hidden in the darkness
Of her well-appointed home
The Lies she has believed
Make her heart feel like a tomb
She says she’s not a “victim”
That her mind is “doing fine”
But hates all those around her –
Says they’re hateful and unkind.

God, can’t you feel the anguish
As her children hear her rage,
As they try to bear the burden
Of making their mom “OK”?
Oh God, where is your comfort?
Why do you seem so far away?
Are you on vacation?
Is there nothing You can say?

You are the loving Savior,
Redeemer, Sustainer, Friend
Who died to free the captives;
Be the light that brings life again
Please free this lonely captive
From the Liar’s choking vines
She is drowning in the darkness –
Let her breathe in Your Light again.

March 15,2022

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(Haven’t been writing for a while….I know the world right now is so FULL of incomprehensible trauma, and war and war crimes and racism and power-grabbing, life crushing, country destroying evil and sadness, but last week the sadness and pain of one young woman I carry about was where my heart was most focused.) Nobody deserves the crap going on in Ukraine.

From the Ashes

There is brokenness-frail humanness
In relationships entangled
By biting, angry bitter words
Screamed from a heart that’s wounded

But Your presence, Lord, brings clarity,
Dispels the fog of dark delusions
The oil of joy gently given
Poured out onto the hurting
Soothes the soul in mourning

And the heaviness is lifted
You give beauty for ashes,
But first we go through fire
As by Your hand our lives
Are delivered from the Liar.

Spirit of the living God,
So gratefully I praise you.
You do for us what only You can do-
You call us from the ashes
And make us new.

December 27, 2020

The Absence of Your Presence

If it wasn’t for Your love,

I would have nowhere to go

There’d be no reason to get out of bed

Fight to open my eyes or try

If I didn’t know Your love

Life would be a living hell

The absence of Your presence – unspeakable!

Darkness too deep – incomprehensible!

If I didn’t know Your love

It would prove I’m already dead

Because You said You’d be with me always-

You love me-that’s what you said.

So I wait here in the darkness

Of this long night of the soul

Knowing only with Your Presence

Can my heart again be whole…

My hope may be bruised and broken

At times I feel so alone

But I’ve known Your love

It has carried me

And I know it will carry me home.

Dec 20, 2020

The Wall

I stood alone behind
My self-made wall of fear and pride.
It kep the world locked out
(Me with my fears, locked up inside).
There were no doors or windows
In this fortress I had made
(I couldn’t take a chance
Someone would see my guilt and shame).

One day, you knocked upon my wall
And old me of a light–
The light of God’s acceptance
That could put my fears to flight.
You said if I surrendered,
Laying down my will, my pride,
That He would be my fortress–
(There’d be no more need to hide).

Carefully, with trembling hands,
I lifted off one brick.
Then I removed another
(Thought I wasn’t moving quick!).
A ray of light came shining
Through the window I had made–
As time went on, I found
I was a little less afraid.

I took more bricks down one by one
Until I built a door.
Then I ventured out
(A risk I couldn’t take before!).
Not only did I tip-toe out–
I let some people in.
They weren’t a threat–
They were a joy!
I found some special friends.

I built an altar from those bricks,
Offered up my fear and pride,
Then found to my amazement–
There was more room for peace inside!
Tearing down my fortress
Was the beginning of hope for me.
Now life is becoming better
Than I ever dreamed it could be

Letting Go (poem)

Letting go of what’s behind,
Embracing what’s ahead,
Going through the changes
As I feel I have been led.

Accepting possibilities
To learn and trust and grow.
Believing when I ask His will
He’ll give me grace to know.

Grasping for serenity
And fragile peace of mind
Praying for the power
To do what I may find.

I make now this commitment
(which I know won’t be the last
for it is but a stepping stone
along this winding path)
So now that I have given it
My all, my very best,
I have to LET IT GO
And trust in Him to do the rest.

August 28, 1988

Reclaimed

I searched for buried treasure,
Looked for pearls far and wide
But came up empty handed
With longing deep inside

My eyes could see but not understand
My ears heard clamor and noise
My broken heart was distracted
By the world and all its toys

Until one day the Good Shepherd
Reclaimed this wandering lamb.
Now I am redeemed,
Bought back from destruction
Held safe in His loving hands.

The Day the Bullies Won

I cried November 4, 2016.
Some of my friends laughed at me –
They said, “It’s just an election,”
“He’s only the president.”
“God is still really in control.”

But I have seen bullies win before —
Ones not any different than this one –
(Just less powerful)
Bullies who say “I thought you liked it.”
Or maybe, “You asked for it.”
Or, “If you tell, no one will ever believe you.”

Today’s bully wants to “make America great”
But this bully doesn’t understand greatness.
Greatness is not small minded and mean.
Greatness is kind to all (not just to those he deems worthy).
It refuses to be petty and mean when success comes to someone else.
Greatness does not continually lie about its achievements,
Does not over inflate its own importance.
Greatness does not traffic in shame and disrespect,
It does not demand its own honor at all costs,
As a result dishonoring those who serve with honor.
Greatness finds no delight in continually doing wrong.
It is not afraid of truth.

Someone truly great knows how to serve others, not just himself.

62 days til the election…..

God have mercy on us!

My Cup of Sorrow

Dreamed tonight of my cup of sorrow–
Sitting in a garden on a stone table, moonlight reflecting off its surface.
Jesus said it was time to deal with the cup –
I tried to argue saying, “No, right now this cup is too full.
I can’t drink from this without it spilling all over…”
But the Man of Sorrows had seen each sorrow when it came into my life.
He walked with me into the garden as together, we approached the cup….
When I was an innocent child and the monsters came-it was not my fault
He too was hated and rejected by people (Is 53:3)
When they told me never to speak of it again-and I locked myself in silence, gave up my voice
He too was beaten down and punished but he didn’t say a word. (IS 53:7)
When I was raped at school and went home feeling violated and alone
He was wounded for this wrong (Is 53:5)
When others dumped their shame on me, saying “If something bad happened, you deserved it.”
People would not even look at him either (Is 53:3)
When they said I was worthless and everyone I loved would abandon me
He was hated and we didn’t even notice him either (Is 53:3)
When I found the nest of snakes and memories came back of being covered with them
He was wounded and crushed for this evil (Is 53:5)
When I could not carry Dad’s depression for him and wanted to die from the weight of it
He took our suffering on him and felt our pain for us (Is 53:4)
When those I loved suffered and I could not protect them from
We are being healed because of his wounds. (Is 53:5)

April 2020

Songs that help:
Under My Feet-Zach Williams
The Hidden Face of God-Michael Card …
The Suffering Symbol-Michael Card
Arise My Love-Michael Card

How Do You Forgive A Ghost? (Poem)

How do you forgive a ghost, a monster, a memory?
They have no name – just the devastation they left in their path–
Like an oozy-sticky-gooey sucking trail of toxic waste
It still runs down the mountain like volcanic lava
Burning generations left in its wake…
How do you stop it?

One of my childhood monsters reappeared in a dream
when my children were young.
He said, “You can’t protect them from me.”
I was afraid, but I thought surely this was from the Liar –
The monster I knew was gone –
Fled the country.
Surely those I loved were out of his reach.

But monsters can reach through time,
Slipping under the radar like stealth bombers
Sneaking in to drop their payload
in the depth of a starless night.
I cannot control other people’s actions.
I can only seek recovery and lay down the fear.

How do I forgive a monster?
(Or am I the monster I need to forgive?)
Each generation seeks an answer.
For those who follow us
We’ve got to make this end.

April 27, 2020

Don’t Look Back (Poem)

The road looks so uncertain
Although you’re really hurtin’ –
You wonder ’bout the choice that you have made
To commit to real life changing
And permanent rearanging
Is enough to make us all a bit afraid.

But on the path you’re moving
There’s sure to be improving
And with each step comes strength to carry on.
For one day at a time
By God’s grace we shall find
That in our weakness we can be made strong.

So don’t look back, my brother.
Take one step then another
And the strength you need will surely be revealed.
As you choose to walk this pathway,
Please know you chose the right way
And in your life His grace will be revealed.

(written for a friend, August 12, 1988, as he was on his way to treatment….
he died this week clean and sober, restored to his kids, grandkids and great grandkids, and loved by a lot of folks in his community who had been encouraged by his gentleness and kindness and helped out by his practical assistance in so many ways….gonna miss you, Tim).