Author: Teresa Norman

Married to the love of my life and my partner in everything for almost 42 years, proud mother of three amazing adults, grandmother of some high energy little angels. Grateful child of God.

Higher than the Heavens (Poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Higher than the heavens, wider than the seas
Grander than the oceans is the Love who cares for me
Tender as a shepherd’s touch, gentle as the rain
Softer than a summer breeze is the Love that bears my shame.

When destruction threatens all I value and hold dear
And my heart is crushed beneath the burden of my fears-
Save me, Lord, oh rescue me! Please show me what to do.
Erase my sin and help me, Lord! My only hope is you….

Higher than the heavens, wider than the seas
Grander than the oceans is the Love who cares for me
Tender as a shepherd’s touch, gentle as the rain
Softer than a summer breeze is the Love that bears my shame.

When I am too weak to stand before the coming storm
Hide me in Your presence-keep me safe from death and harm.
My foes rejoice in victory they think that they have won
(Until they see Your presence give me strength to overcome).

Higher than the heavens, wider than the seas
Grander than the oceans is the Love who cares for me
Tender as a shepherd’s touch, gentle as the rain
Softer than a summer breeze is the Love that bears my shame.

Teresa Norman 1998

The Empath’s Choice (Poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Raging river, gentle stream

Wild tsunami or hurricane

Volcanic eruption spewing ash about

Or flowers blooming when the sun comes out

Gentle breezes, gale force winds

Breaking branches, chaos again

Holy fire, life giving flame

Gift of passion bringing life and change

 

In the confusion, the noise and the change

The only constant is to cling to His name

The loving creator of earth wind and flame

Calls us to follow through all the of the change

He is the harbor, the anchor, the rest….

The one who can harness the power of His gifts

And keep them from crushing the vessel He made

To give honor and glory and praise to His name.

 

(I dreamed of a woman standing in the center of the dark wooded night with fire in her hands…having to make a choice.  Would she place the fire in the fire pit to bring warmth and light to the darkness and those gathered there, or would she loose the fire in uncontrolled ways that would “burn down paradise?  May God help us choose the wise use of our gifts!)

 

Feb 20, 2019

The Betrayal (Poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

The night is dark and stormy, there’s a cold wind in my soul

Seems like I’ve been torn apart and never will be whole.

The suffocating weight that rests upon my broken heart

Holds me in my silence–Lord, when will the healing start?

 

I cast about in desperate for hope that there might somehow be

Someone who can reach out to break these chains and set me free.

But who can know the torment? Who can truly comprehend?

(Unless they too have been betrayed by loved one or by friend?)

 

As I cower in desperation and in fear of what shall be,

A picture comes to mind I know that you have given me…

 

I see you hanging on a cross

In agony betrayed,

Naked, torn and bleeding

So that we can be saved.

The one who lived and walked with you,

With whom you shared your soul

Was the person who betrayed you—

All my agony you know!

 

Watching friends present a mime of the Passion of Christ years ago, I was struck HARD by the thought that Judas, the betrayer, was one of the 12 disciples Jesus had spent the last three years pouring his life into.  He was one of the guys, probably was treated like the other guys.  He wasn’t some random stranger.  In the words of “Why?” by Michael Card, “Only a friend can betray a friend….a stranger has nothing to gain and only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain.”  Jesus knows what DV survivors, abuse victims, and all those who have been betrayed by someone they love feel.  (I am a slow learner…..I never realized in my guts until this week, that He hung there naked in front of his abusers.  He knows.

A Tribute to My Dad (poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

The times we live in, and some opportunities I’ve availed myself of lately, have given me a chance to reflect on the legacy my ancestors have left me…my dad passed away at the age of 90 on April 5, 2016.

What I Learned from My Dad (one way or the other)

You taught me to solve problems and value my independence.

You taught me self-esteem is earned by living a life I can be proud of.

You took me to church where I learned God is good, some people suck, and even when they do, God is still good.

You let me make music that gave my heart wings.

You made me responsible to know my options in any situation and always have a Plan B.

You taught me to be grateful and that whining will never solve anything.

You taught me that, in the end, kindness matters (a lot!) and, by God’s grace, I get to choose what kind of person I want to be.

Thanks, Dad.

Uncle David and the Daffodils (reposted)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Easter always reminds me of daffodils.  Daffodils always remind me of Uncle David. When I was about 4 or 5, Uncle David gave me a beautiful book of poetry (it had daffodils on the front and lots of pictures of beautiful flowers).  I was trying to learn to read at that point, sitting on the couch, when I asked my Mom, “What is d-o-g spelled backwards?”  She told me that was God.  I knew this was significant.

It’s even more significant that Uncle David is thus directly tied in my little kid brain to finding out about God.  Uncle David was not on everyone’s A list.  He was, in the terms of the day, “slow” or “different” (not dumb, just not quite functioning at the mental complexity his particular decade and community preferred.  He had gotten in some pretty awful spots when someone misunderstood his assessment of different situations (think “padded room”).  Uncle David spent a good part of his later life shuttled off to a halfway house on Capital Hill in Seattle.  Some of the relatives breathed a sigh of relief, and except for coming to the island to pick blackberries and thimbleberries and huckleberries once a year so I could make him a pie, we didn’t see much of him for quite a while.

Uncle David died quietly at home.  A funeral was planned for our little community, with some folks figuring immediate family would be the only ones who showed up.  Boy, were we surprised!  From David’s delightfully diverse community, carloads of people came to our small town and filled the funeral home.  After the formal part of the service was over, someone from the back spoke up and said, “We would like to say something…..”  The minister let her come to the microphone.  One by one, a parade of people came forward to speak about how David’s simple ability to love and encourage those around him, to do practical things, to serve, to help in any way he could had blessed their lives over and over again.  We sat their dumbfounded, humbled and incredibly grateful for the profound lesson unfolding in front of us. God, in typical fashion, chose the humble of the world to teach us that his ways aren’t our ways.  That we had missed the point entirely by talking more than we listened.  That there had been much to learn from a humble man with no guile who sought to love his community.  I am grateful each Easter, especially, as I think of the lessons Uncle David gave me on living in the grace of God.

A Trip to Pandora (Poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Feb 2020

Today I returned to a journey I started long ago….

Meeting with others, sharing stories, talking truth…

Some people would say this is opening “Pandora’s box” –

It will let out all manner of troubles.

I’ve peeked inside this box before then shoved the lid back down tight,

Ran as fast as I could…

Tried to “unsee” what was seen.

Always figured I’d seen enough of what was in the box…

Dealt with what I saw and moved on…

(But not so fast…)

 

Troubles still arise uninvited.

Connections made to the things that crawled out of hiding long ago.

I have not outrun them as successfully as I had hoped.

(Perhaps hope was the problem?)

No one else in my gene pool had managed to outrun these things….

Some people sing “Blessed be the tie that binds….” –

In my biological family it was more like

“The chains that bind won’t go away.

You can’t escape what people say….

You’ll never belong so don’t even try…”

(But the story is not over……)

 

There is a God who saw me in my weakness,

He saw me in my trouble and loves me-one of the “least of these”.

This changes everything…I mean everything!

Trouble is not new to Him.

The Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief…

The Shepherd who searches for one lost sheep

The Master Potter who fixes broken vessels-

Restores them and makes them usable….

Hope is the answer – His name is Jesus

And He is mending my soul.

 

Communion Song

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Lord, what does it mean,
In a world so full of fear and greed
With countless folks in need
To serve you?

Instead of seeking so much STUFF
Teach me how much is enough
And how to share the blessings
You’ve bestowed.

Jesus, please forgive me.
Please show me what it means
To walk your way.
I bow down, I lay before you.
I cannot rise again
In my own strength.

Lord, what does it mean
To take the bread and wine
And worship you on Sunday
If the rest of the week is mine?
Lord, my life is in your hands.
Teach me to live as you command,
To be one of your servants in this world.

Jesus, here I am lord.
Offering what I have and what I am.
Let me be poured out for You
As you were poured out for me.
Show me how to be your loving hands.

All of my longings, all my desires
I place on your altar.
Consume them with fire.

Change me; teach me
So the world can see
More of you, Lord, and less of me.

By Teresa Norman 2004

Wolfie (a kindness story)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

In a world that’s kind of FULL of all kinds of bad news, I wanted to share a kindness story from two of my favorite ambassadors of goodness…..

Wolfie                                                                                                                             2/26/2020

Today was just another day, (except for the tears and the sadness). It started with no sleep, continued with too much work and ended with missing house keys, puppy vomit in the back of the car, (And an off balance feeling like walking on marbles waiting to fall).

But there was a bright spot – today was the first day of hanging out with my fabulous grandsons after school.

When they got off the bus We were met with enthusiastic slobbery puppy love… Brandy, the St Bernard puppy, and Penny, the gentle loving guardian greeted us with wild enthusiasm, and a distressing cough. Has Penny’s cancer spread?   (Sadness). (My MRI results tomorrow should answer the same question…)

Austin, the wise gentle 10-year-old, explained things to me – “Penny’s cancer might be pushing on her lungs. That’s what the cough is from…. Soon she’ll be up with Tiger (his other guardian puppy that died) and she won’t be in pain anymore.” (Tears)…Grandma lost it.

The sweet wisdom and acceptance, the wise beyond years;  how well mom & dad prepared him. So proud of this guy!

As Austin tried to comfort me, Wyatt, the 7-year-old fire cracker, went and got me four quarters out of his valuable stash to make me feel better.  That didn’t seem to solve it so he brought me one of his loved stuffed animals, Wolfie, to take home for tonight to make me feel better. (If I promised my puppy wouldn’t eat him).

 So lucky to be loved by this tribe.

(Turns out Penny is OK! and so am I)

Fleeing from the Shadows

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Little girl, hiding in the shadows
Listening to the terrors of the night
Pillow o’er her head–wishing she was dead
Praying that the darkness doesn’t win….

Half-grown girl, living in the shadows
Trying to be “good” (not knowing how)
Afraid of what it means–the way her life has been
Afraid that she can never be made clean…

Wife and mom, still fleeing from the shadows,
While silently inside she dies each day.
Half alive at best–feeling different from the rest
But not yet understanding what it means….

There is a Light that drives away the darkness
There is a Hope that rises like the dawn!
There is a God who loves you–even though He’s seen it all.
He’s there for you and longs to be your friend….
You can begin again…..to live.

(In honor of Aunt Eleanor, who suffered greatly and is now at peace)

People Like Me

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

Little girl, needing her father’s care
Vulnerable, trusting, and not yet aware
Willing to believe what the grownups say
(But paying a price, even to this day).

Seduced by abusers with smooth, cunning lies;
Next 20 years, got no tears left to cry.
Carrying for them the guilt and the shame,
It’s cause long forgotten–
Just a wound with no name.

“Nice Christian Women” don’t have problems like this!
So you think God’s forgotten (or has no help to give).
You deny it. You numb it. (But it won’t go away).
Their choice to abuse you left a high price to pay!

Now when I remember what I’d rather forget
I feel some of the anger (but it’s not over yet!)
I still want to shake those who stopped up their ears
When I tried to get help for the heartache and fears!

I want them to listen. I want them to know!
Little girls don’t ask for this! Dear GOD let them know!
It’s when people around them are too scared to see
That little girls grow up to be people like me.

They swallow their anger, give it to their guts
Then get in their 30’s and start going NUTS!
When flashbacks take over the hours before dawn
They grab a soft pillow and try to hold on.
Inside they lie screaming with rage and with fear
(But there’s no one to show them the way out of here!)
They want to do something to destroy who they are
But there’s nowhere to run to get away from the scars.

The “powers of darkness” the “Prince of the air”
Laughs at their tormented, weak little prayers.
He says they were purchased that day long ago
And he’s come to lay claim to their charred little souls.

The lies they believed long ago call their name
As the guilt separates them from God and their friends.
Religious pride tells them they must LOOK o.k.
(But honest confession is the only real way).

Unless they feel safe to speak out with the truth,
They are bound by the lies Satan knows how to use–
Like: “God doesn’t love you! You’re dirty and bad!”
(All the things that they learned from “dear loving dad”)

But Messiah, Redeemer, by His power and might
Can deliver from bondage those that give Him the right.
He purchased them, claimed them that day long ago
And He’s waiting to free those who give Him control.

************************************************************

(Wrote this a long time ago, when memories were still a bit overwhelming….haven’t done much writing the last few years but it’s time to integrate the pieces of my life….)

THE CAPTIVE TREASURE

Teresa NormanLeave a comment 
Crouching in the darkness, In the nighttime of her fears
Struggling 'neath the burdens that have kept her bound for years....
Captive to the Liar -- the accusation she's received
That her life has no value -- not aware she's been deceived.

Hands that reach to hold her in her loneliness and pain
Are feared as those who've come before to hurt and crush and maim.
Her broken heart lies bleeding...the Accuser shouts with glee
For her captive heart confirms the lie she never will be free.

But the Lord of Life is calling His anguished daughter's name.
He feels each wound she's suffered and He died to bear the shame.
This precious captive treasure is a jewel in His hand
(Though her blinded eyes and shattered heart cannot yet understand...)

"You are not your own, My child, I bought you with a price.
Purchased as a special gem -- for you I gave My Life.
I've come to be your Champion -- the Accuser has no part!
If you place your life into My hands, I'll free your captive heart."

The Crystal Vase

Teresa NormanLeave a comment 
Like a crystal vase smashed against the cement wall
The little girl was fractured by life’s blows.
Now hidden deep inside lie the pieces she can’t find-
The broken parts no one but Jesus knows….

Like catacombs in ancient Rome there are tunnels here…
She’s been lost in them and hiding out for years.
But she’s tired of trying to run  
She knows a change has got to come.
Believing He has seen it all and loves her still
And the emptiness is one that He can fill.

She was blinded by her tears,
Held captive to her fears,
Not sure if she should let His light shine in...
But when His love breaks through 
Mended broken things become new
Reflecting once again His marvelous light….

'Cause He’s picking up the pieces of her shattered life
Cradling them gently in His nail scarred hands.
With tender love He comes to heal
Wounds she tries hard not to feel
And let her know she’s still precious in His sight –
That she will be alright.

(Written for a friend December 19, 1991. But like so many of my poems, still being worked out in my own life.  Grateful for a church community where broken people are welcome and redemption, grace, compassion, and humilty are seen as essential parts of faith…..)

A tribute to my mother (reposted poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

You taught me the power of words-
You made me a poet.
You taught me compassion-
To see and to love those who are in pain.
You taught me to value diversity-
Helped me understand how it felt to be different.
You taught me the value of community-
Helped me learn to notice the lonely and left out.
You taught me to love mercy-
To treat people how I wanted to be treated.
You taught me to love my children-
To value who God made them as individuals.
You taught me to listen with my heart-
To hear the wounds of others that were hard to express.
You taught me that you don’t always
Get to choose how the lessons come
But to keep my heart open to God
And try not to miss them.
You taught me to value humility-
And to seek to do justice.
You helped me learn to look for the “jewels in the ashes”
and light in the darkest of places.

 

(Today or tomorrow may be her last day….she was exhausted, sick and in pain this afternoon but knew we were there).  The call where I was asked to confirm it was OK to give her morphine, avatar and just keep her comfortable and let her failing heart fail came today……praying you find peace, Mom.

The Boogeyman’s Back….(a poem)

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

The boogeyman lives under my bed –

Sometimes he tries to sneak into my head

I plug my ears and stomp and shout

Trying to tearfully block him out.

He used to be just a scary story

Until the day he arrived in his glory

The news came through the telephone line –

“You have cancer” – now you’re mine.

We drove him back under the bed

Did surgery, chemo, everything they said

Prayed and hoped he would stay hid

But that’s not what this monster did…

Today I got another call

That pushed my back against the wall-

The sucker’s rearing his ugly head

I “need to get checked out more”, they said….

It may be nothing or it may be bad –

Oh man, this news makes me scared and sad!

So here we go for another round

Trying to not flip upside down.

God only knows and He’s not saying

What around this corner is waiting

But my God is bigger than this boogeyman

And I’ve got to trust that I’m in His hands.

3/24/16  Teresa Norman

 

Tuesday was the mammogram, Thursday was the call where they said they need more imaging and a pathologist to sort out what happens next in my life.

Jesus Is A Refugee (poem) reposted

Teresa NormanLeave a comment

See the  mother on the journey, tiny baby in her arms,
Running from the soldiers who’ve come to rape and kill
She’s tired from the running, desperate, hungry, full of fear—
How can she know God loves her, and that He walks beside her there?

He is there beside her in the dark and in the cold.
He knows what she is feeling, in the Bible it is told
That He was once a refugee. His parents ran to save His life
From the soldiers sent to kill him in Herod’s infanticide.

The way that God has chosen to loose the bands of wickedness
To give bread to the hungry and to help free the oppressed
Calls us to walk beside her in our prayers and in our hearts:
As the body of Christ, the servant king, it makes her burden ours.

But words and prayers are not enough, no matter how well spoken
God’s love requires our presence so He can walk beside His children.
Even though we’re broken, we are His feet and hands.
We stand in need of grace to obey His commands.

Though she sits in darkness, He came to be the light.
Though she now is hungry, He is the bread of life.
Though we turn aside sometimes or don’t know what to do,
We are all called in some way to help her make it through.

He chose to entrust us with His reputation
And to make us His body throughout every nation
As a king become baby, He risked everything
Calling us to embody the love that He brings….

“I was hungry and you gave me bread
Thirsty and you gave me drink
A stranger and you took me in
In prison and you came to me….”
Lord, when did this happen?
His answer is quite clear
“When you did it for the least of these
It was for me, for I am there….”

Teresa Norman March 2001