Category: Christianity

Thoughts on seeing God…

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I love listening to the stories of some of the wonderful people who have been here in this church and community for 50+ years. What a wealth of memory and relationship! So many stories of God’s faithfulness in all kinds of situations…some of you have been blessed with this amazing continuity of God’s grace….I am grateful for you.

My dad had that – his dad helped build the church he grew up and went to for 75 years before it closed. I have bounced around a bit and we have had the immense privilege of being parts of several different churches and communities – from house churches to a 1300+ member megachurch.

We got an old record digitized recently that a friend had taken my dad’s dad to make. Hearing the grandpa I never met singing “the love of God’ in his heavily accented German voice made me cry – that is what was important to this immigrant farmer who came to America hoping for a better life. The God who made oceans and mountains and skies and seas and rocks and trees and weeds …. Creator God made humans and loved them. It reminded me of our friend Bob Wieneke, who also loved the old hymns.

A friend who taught at SPU asked me to come and speak to a small group of his students (very surprising) about missional theology. I’m still not sure what that is, but I went and told stories about the people we had met working with refugees as they were resettled here in the Seattle area, helping to process payments that supported relief teams that helped provide for the needs of the internally displaced in Burma. A mother who said she was so proud of her oldest daughter who had always remembered to take her blanket with her when they had to hide from the bombs…a friend who started a church in her living room…. In the end, David expressed it for me – “your theology is defined by the people you have known following Jesus in all kinds of circumstances”. Yep! That’s it. I’m a boring person with some really interesting friends.

My girls, when they were little, asked me “how do you see God?” And the answer I was given for them was “you see God in His people, that’s where He’s found.”

Lord, you know there’s times I’ve tried to run but now I come
To give you thanks for all you’ve done
I don’t know. How it is I couldn’t see before
That the hands that were reaching out to me were yours.
I guess that sometimes pride gets in the way-
We turn aside to try to hide the pain.
So much is lost I know you gave your life to gain –
So I come to give thanks in your name…..

When my little girls ask how to see you –
How can they really know that you’re around
You’ve given me an answer I can share with them –
They can see you in your people – that’s where you’re found!

Thank you Lord for all you’ve done
You gave me friends that helped me live again
There kindness and there mercy were like water to the thirsty
I’ve seen you in my friends and I thank you Lord.

(The song was was written 40 years ago, but the thoughts about my current church and community are fresh).

Walking through the Fire

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When I’m walking through the fire, He’s by my side.
When I’m walking through the fire, He is my guide.
Though I cannot see the way, secure in Him I’ll stay.
When I’m walking through the fire, He is there.

Three good men of old were cast into the fire.
They were not burned though the flames grew ever higher.
The Son of God was with them in the midst.
Knowing that, I put my trust in this….

Daniel in the lion’s den was cast.
God shut their mouths—His angels held them fast.
God kept him through the night. He saw the morning’s light
And God was honored ‘cause He brought Daniel through.

Elijah stood for God before Baal’s men.
God proved Himself the Lord by fire then.
Baal’s prophets did scream and shout
But Elijah’s prayer brought God out.
When God’s fire fell, to Him their hearts were turned.

(Daniel 3, Daniel 6, and I Kings 18)

Nov. 13, 1988 12:25 a.m.

Years ago, I wrote this when I first discovered a suspicious lump….scary, but turned out OK. Other lumps have not been OK. First Inflammatory Breast Cancer, and now bladder cancer. It seems like a small thing, this little problem, when the world is on fire and innocent people are being slaughtered in so many places – Gaza, Burma, Congo, Ukraine and many more…. It all seems kind of flowery and theoretical to say “God is with you” to someone who just had their family crushed under a falling building…I can’t figure that out. How God is good and the world is SOOO bad in places.

Broken Ways

Teresa Norman1 Comment

Creator God, Giver of life
You see how we struggle-
Create hardship and strife,
We lash out in our anger
Breaking hearts as we go
Feeling wise when we’re foolish
Thinking You don’t see or know…

Our broken ways separate us,
Draw walls around our hearts
We think we’ve reached the ending
When You long to give a new start
Forgive us, God, we need You-
(We are not so wise at all!)

We think we have the answers
But on our faces we fall
Help us learn to listen to you!
Let Your Spirit speak words on the wind
Let the seeds of truth be planted
Make our hearts good ground again.

You’ve pulled the weeds so lovingly
(Although there still was pain)
As we clung to the things that hurt us
And refused to let you in
Help those whose pain is hidden
In the darkness of their fears
Give them hope that You are listening
When they’re alone and think no one hears.

Come, Great Holy Spirit, breathe life
Into these bones that feel broken and dried
Bring order, redemption, salvation
To this barren place within us –
Oh God, be glorified.

6/19/2023

Picking a Tombstone

Teresa Norman1 Comment

This is a weird way to spend a day -trying to decide what kind of tombstone to purchase for my friend. She had been estranged from her blood relations for quite a few years, but had many friends in her community. An amazing person, in some ways, and a bit of a cactus in others….

For some reason she trusted me to be her “executor” although there wasn’t much to execute. One of our other friends who still lived in her community was the resident angel who. visited her regularly in the nursing home and cared for her lovingly, consistently and with great dignity and grace. She is an angel.

So, my job is to select a tombstone and get the ashes from the cremation company and have her ashes buried and the tombstone installed next to her husband’s spot. But, for some reason, I keep putting this off. I don’t know what to say on this marker. I have the dates she was born and died, and her name, but I don’t feel like I know her enough to make the final statement on her tombstone. She was a deeply religious person (Christian faith), and talked often of heaven being her real home and of her Father there who loved her and would welcome her. Her life had been lacking a lot in the loving and welcoming part….she lost her mother when she was young. Our friend, the angel, shared how touching it was to see the nurses caring for her in such intimate ways and how she softened as she soaked up the kindness and love she found in this not so deluxe nursing home. She became gentler with people….there are gifts even in the dark places.

I guess what I will say on the tombstone will be her name, and the dates of her earthly existence, and that she is forever loved….

Dear Southern Baptist Leadership…

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It is with almost unspeakable grief that I read the report of how you, like SO many other church leaders, have covered up the abuse of women and children and made excuses for the abusers.

The destructive power of intimidating those who try to tell of what happened to them and how their lives are impacted appears to be beyond your comprehension.

Let me try to help you out on this…

Years ago, I wrote a collection of poems sharing what child abuse looks like from the child’s perspective. While the circumstances/details of each person’s abuse are different, these glimpses into abuse through a child’s eyes have helped some people see a little bit more. The view gets SO clouded and SO dark when it is clergy who abused you. I know, because the youth group leader in my church was a serial molester. He started with his owns sisters as a young man and graduated to the “sheep” he was supposed to “shepherd.” Here is a sample of the poems:

Child of Mind

Look, you child rapist, what did you mean
When you made that saintly sick little scene?

In your nice blue suit, oh SO “righteously”
You sang in “tribute” of your mom’s memory.

The church was full of people you knew,
But oh, you fraud! if they only knew you!!

Instead of your smiling religious face
They’d watch you roast and twist In Hot disgrace.

Perhaps your victims would cut off your….
And nail them up to a handy wall….

We’d get revenge for what you’ve done
In the “name of God” – (May His Kingdom come!).

We’d shout your secrets nice and loud –
Tell what you did and broadcast how
In the name of “love” and a “Shepherd’s concern”
You screwed your sheep, each one by turn.

And those who needed God’s love could find
A pastoral pervert to mess up their minds.

You hypocrite!! I wish you knew
Just what it was you put us through!

We paid a price for believing your lies.
Most of us still live and hope you die
Slowly!

************************************************************

For more poems “From the Child”. please see fromthechild.wordpress.com

Who Is He?

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Who is He who calms the wind and sea?

Yet gently calms raging storms in me?

Who is He who opens eyes once blind?

Yet made birds and animals of every kind?

Who is He who walks on the water?

Yet calls us friends, sons and daughters?

Who is He who wept for His friend?

Then with a word, gave Him life again.

Though He existed before time began

He saw me, loved me as my life began

Who is this one who redeemed my life?

My Savior, my Shepherd, Jesus Christ.

May 2021

From the Ashes

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There is brokenness-frail humanness
In relationships entangled
By biting, angry bitter words
Screamed from a heart that’s wounded

But Your presence, Lord, brings clarity,
Dispels the fog of dark delusions
The oil of joy gently given
Poured out onto the hurting
Soothes the soul in mourning

And the heaviness is lifted
You give beauty for ashes,
But first we go through fire
As by Your hand our lives
Are delivered from the Liar.

Spirit of the living God,
So gratefully I praise you.
You do for us what only You can do-
You call us from the ashes
And make us new.

December 27, 2020

The Wall

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I stood alone behind
My self-made wall of fear and pride.
It kep the world locked out
(Me with my fears, locked up inside).
There were no doors or windows
In this fortress I had made
(I couldn’t take a chance
Someone would see my guilt and shame).

One day, you knocked upon my wall
And old me of a light–
The light of God’s acceptance
That could put my fears to flight.
You said if I surrendered,
Laying down my will, my pride,
That He would be my fortress–
(There’d be no more need to hide).

Carefully, with trembling hands,
I lifted off one brick.
Then I removed another
(Thought I wasn’t moving quick!).
A ray of light came shining
Through the window I had made–
As time went on, I found
I was a little less afraid.

I took more bricks down one by one
Until I built a door.
Then I ventured out
(A risk I couldn’t take before!).
Not only did I tip-toe out–
I let some people in.
They weren’t a threat–
They were a joy!
I found some special friends.

I built an altar from those bricks,
Offered up my fear and pride,
Then found to my amazement–
There was more room for peace inside!
Tearing down my fortress
Was the beginning of hope for me.
Now life is becoming better
Than I ever dreamed it could be

Psalm 61 for 7-year-olds

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A Morning Psalm

Last night I dreamed about Psalm 61 as I prayed for a very special little person I know who is having a struggle with school in a Zoom-filled virtual school day. 

This morning I am reading the first few verses from “the Passion Translation”:

O God, hear my prayer. Listen to my heart’s cry.
2 For no matter where I am, even when I’m far from home,
I will cry out to you for a father’s help.
When I’m feeble and overwhelmed by life,
guide me into your glory, where I am safe and sheltered.
3 Lord, you are a paradise of protection to me.
You lift me high above the fray.
None of my foes can touch me
when I’m held firmly in your wrap-around presence!
4 Keep me in this glory.
Let me live continually under your splendor-shadow,
hiding my life in you forever.

Psalm 61 for a seven-year-old:

God, I am overwhelmed!

I need your help!

This is hard.

Everyone else gets done quicker.

I don’t want them to laugh

I need your help.

This is hard.

I need your help.

Let me know I am loved.

I need your help.

This is hard.

Lead me to the safe place

Let me know I am OK.

Lazarus (a dream)

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In the Mending the Soul group I was in, the chapter we were on was on deadness – how abuse deadens your soul and how God wants to help you get out of that …. I was like – if I knew how to do this different, I would have done it by now!

Then, one night I dreamed of a coffin laying in the yard with a lid off as we tried to move on. Wondering who died. Had to make a decision what to do with this. Wanted to leave it but knew I couldn’t finish moving until I dealt with the body in the box.

3/14/2020
Lazarus, what was it like for you?
You’d been with the Master, knew what He could do….
Did you feel abandoned when He let you die
Instead of coming to save your life?
(Did you cry?)

Your sisters wept in anguish
They hated to see you go-
You were all friends with Jesus-
(Or at least you thought so….)
(Why was He so slow?

Your friends bound you with grave clothes
And wept at your tomb
Comforted your sisters
While you lay in darkness, alone

He came when you’d been dead four days-
(Martha said that you would smell)
He didn’t hold back –this was nothing new….
(He knows broken people so well).

He came and he wept
Told your friends, “Roll back the stone”
He called you out into His light.
Said, “Unbind him and let him go.”

How did you feel when you saw His face?
Did it matter how long it had been?
Or were you just grateful to out of the tomb
To be able to live again?

Reclaimed

Teresa Norman3 Comments

I searched for buried treasure,
Looked for pearls far and wide
But came up empty handed
With longing deep inside

My eyes could see but not understand
My ears heard clamor and noise
My broken heart was distracted
By the world and all its toys

Until one day the Good Shepherd
Reclaimed this wandering lamb.
Now I am redeemed,
Bought back from destruction
Held safe in His loving hands.

My Cup of Sorrow (a dream)

Teresa Norman2 Comments

Dreamed tonight of my cup of sorrow–
Sitting in a garden on a stone table, moonlight reflecting off its surface.
Jesus said it was time to deal with the cup –
I tried to argue saying, “No, right now this cup is too full.
I can’t drink from this without it spilling all over…”
But the Man of Sorrows had seen each sorrow when it came into my life.
He walked with me into the garden as together, we approached the cup….
When I was an innocent child and the monsters came-it was not my fault
He too was hated and rejected by people (Is 53:3)
When they told me never to speak of it again-and I locked myself in silence, gave up my voice
He too was beaten down and punished but he didn’t say a word. (IS 53:7)
When I was raped at school and went home feeling violated and alone
He was wounded for this wrong (Is 53:5)
When others dumped their shame on me, saying “If something bad happened, you deserved it.”
People would not even look at him either (Is 53:3)
When they said I was worthless and everyone I loved would abandon me
He was hated and we didn’t even notice him either (Is 53:3)
When I found the nest of snakes and memories came back of being covered with them
He was wounded and crushed for this evil (Is 53:5)
When I could not carry Dad’s depression for him and wanted to die from the weight of it
He took our suffering on him and felt our pain for us (Is 53:4)
When those I loved suffered and I could not protect them from
We are being healed because of his wounds. (Is 53:5)

April 2020

Songs that help:
Under My Feet-Zach Williams
The Hidden Face of God-Michael Card …
The Suffering Symbol-Michael Card
Arise My Love-Michael Card

On the sea of doubt….(reposted poem)

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My boat seems very little, Lord,
And the waves are very high.
The clouds are moving crazy fast
In an ominous looking  sky.

Can’t find a sheltering harbor
In this sea of constant change.
Holding course by years spent knowing
My anchor is in Your name.

So many life transitions
Swirling in this sea of doubt…
Do You have some new directions?
How are things supposed to work out?

Will valuable things be strengthened
Or is meaningful service done?
You know our hearts
You know Your plans….
Lord, let Your kingdom come.

12/10/09

A Little Dog Named Courage (trigger post/poem)

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If I were an artist, I would draw a large dog crate with no bars on it, no door.
There would be a blanket provided, and food and water,
but never kind words or a comfort or pet.
Courage would be led there at night and told to stay until morning.
The “stupid little bitch” would be alone with her fears, guilt and shame.
(At least the darkness hid her).

Morning’s light would not provide relief.
The Accuser could still visit whenever he pleased.
He’d come to confirm her lack of value, uselessness, failures and guilt.
She’d never had sex with a boyfriend.
(No, she was waiting for marriage.)
Instead, she had been raped by a married man.
(He said was going to hell).

(Does it still “count” as “having sex” if:
You are watching from the ceiling?
Your body is numb?
You say you don’t want it?
You don’t know you can say “NO!”)

Only now does she see there are no bars or door on her crate.
Only now does she see there is an escape.
Only now does she see the hand of kindness extended-
A Savior who sees the child He died for – one that He loves still.

Learning to give back the shame is courageous. (It is not hers to carry).
Learning to say “I didn’t deserve this” is courageous. (Abusers manipulate).
Learning to walk out of the cage and embrace freedom is courageous.
Learning to call it “rape” because that’s what it was is courageous (and he was a Liar).
Learning to live is courageous. (Her life is in God’s hands).
(This simple, twisted man doesn’t get to take it away.)

Romans 8:38 (from the Passion Translation): So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!

The Father Who Made You (Poem)

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Grieving for a friend today…

Little child, crying in the dark
Wondering when the bitter words
And tears will end…
Wondering when it will be safe
To trust again–
There is a Hope! There is a Friend!

The Father who made you
Will not betray you
But longs to enfold you in His love!
His love will heal you,
Restore you and free you.
His love will do you no wrong.

Why won’t he stop?
What have I done?
Is there anywhere I can run?
Is there any place I can hide?
There is One who calls you to His side….

The Father who made you
Will not betray you
But longs to enfold you in His love!
His love will heal you,
Restore you and free you.
His love will do you no wrong.