Category: Community

Walking Backwards

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Walking Backwards….

(Went to a friend/mentor/neighbor’s memorial service last weekend.  Saw people we hadn’t seen for maybe thirty years or more, among many others.  So many conversations to have and not nearly enough time…)

The voices had so much to say

Of days gone by…of prayers prayed.

One friend who had learned 

She would never be alone-

God’s spirit was real – her heart had found home..

Another spoke of songs we had written

(Which I had forgotten)….

I’d known her since she was a child.

(We shared parts of a dark history)…

Another remembered with gratitude

songs I had written that our church had sung.

So many different stages of life and faith

Different places lived, different paths followed…

Strange to go back

Delightful to see old friends,

To see kids I’d’ known and loved,

See their kids all grown…

Memory lane is real.

Don’t quite know what to feel.

Grateful for my friend and her amazing, large, faith-filled life.

My life is small, but evidently, from what I hear

From these old  friends, listening

And doing small things with kindness matters

We are all loved.

May 4, 2024

Joy Comes In the Morning

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Joy Comes in the Morning

He died on a cold November day, probably in 1975.
I hadn’t known him long. He was the father of a friend
And he took all 22 of us living in the house
Into his bear-hugged size embrace.

Some of them, he was related to.
I was just a bonus one he threw in
(maybe because I seemed so lost).
Anyway, he thought I was worth loving.

The loss hit me hard. I felt more alone.
It wasn’t like I was going to see him again
Since I had already moved out of the group…
But knowing someone loved me mattered a lot.

When I came home after the funeral,
I took my guitar and my big black leather King James Bible
And went upstairs looking for some comfort.
The house empty – no one to hear me weeping from my guts).

I think I may have been searching for verses about weeping…
Psalms 30:5 came to mind – “weeping may endure for a night,
but joy cometh in the morning…” and the lines “the Lord is my strength and my song, my heart trusts in Him and I am helped. Therefore, my heart greatly rejoices and with my song will I praise Him: (not sure where those lines are from but they came with music).

Then, another song, this one partly from Psalms 126.5-6: “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goes forth weeping bearing precious seed will doubtless come again with rejoicing bringing his sheaves with him.”

I’d never written a song before, but out of the grief and lament, God gave me two new songs. This was the start. Sowed in tears, reaped in joy-wrote a lot of songs over the next few years….

Thoughts on seeing God…

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I love listening to the stories of some of the wonderful people who have been here in this church and community for 50+ years. What a wealth of memory and relationship! So many stories of God’s faithfulness in all kinds of situations…some of you have been blessed with this amazing continuity of God’s grace….I am grateful for you.

My dad had that – his dad helped build the church he grew up and went to for 75 years before it closed. I have bounced around a bit and we have had the immense privilege of being parts of several different churches and communities – from house churches to a 1300+ member megachurch.

We got an old record digitized recently that a friend had taken my dad’s dad to make. Hearing the grandpa I never met singing “the love of God’ in his heavily accented German voice made me cry – that is what was important to this immigrant farmer who came to America hoping for a better life. The God who made oceans and mountains and skies and seas and rocks and trees and weeds …. Creator God made humans and loved them. It reminded me of our friend Bob Wieneke, who also loved the old hymns.

A friend who taught at SPU asked me to come and speak to a small group of his students (very surprising) about missional theology. I’m still not sure what that is, but I went and told stories about the people we had met working with refugees as they were resettled here in the Seattle area, helping to process payments that supported relief teams that helped provide for the needs of the internally displaced in Burma. A mother who said she was so proud of her oldest daughter who had always remembered to take her blanket with her when they had to hide from the bombs…a friend who started a church in her living room…. In the end, David expressed it for me – “your theology is defined by the people you have known following Jesus in all kinds of circumstances”. Yep! That’s it. I’m a boring person with some really interesting friends.

My girls, when they were little, asked me “how do you see God?” And the answer I was given for them was “you see God in His people, that’s where He’s found.”

Lord, you know there’s times I’ve tried to run but now I come
To give you thanks for all you’ve done
I don’t know. How it is I couldn’t see before
That the hands that were reaching out to me were yours.
I guess that sometimes pride gets in the way-
We turn aside to try to hide the pain.
So much is lost I know you gave your life to gain –
So I come to give thanks in your name…..

When my little girls ask how to see you –
How can they really know that you’re around
You’ve given me an answer I can share with them –
They can see you in your people – that’s where you’re found!

Thank you Lord for all you’ve done
You gave me friends that helped me live again
There kindness and there mercy were like water to the thirsty
I’ve seen you in my friends and I thank you Lord.

(The song was was written 40 years ago, but the thoughts about my current church and community are fresh).

Broken Ways

Teresa Norman1 Comment

Creator God, Giver of life
You see how we struggle-
Create hardship and strife,
We lash out in our anger
Breaking hearts as we go
Feeling wise when we’re foolish
Thinking You don’t see or know…

Our broken ways separate us,
Draw walls around our hearts
We think we’ve reached the ending
When You long to give a new start
Forgive us, God, we need You-
(We are not so wise at all!)

We think we have the answers
But on our faces we fall
Help us learn to listen to you!
Let Your Spirit speak words on the wind
Let the seeds of truth be planted
Make our hearts good ground again.

You’ve pulled the weeds so lovingly
(Although there still was pain)
As we clung to the things that hurt us
And refused to let you in
Help those whose pain is hidden
In the darkness of their fears
Give them hope that You are listening
When they’re alone and think no one hears.

Come, Great Holy Spirit, breathe life
Into these bones that feel broken and dried
Bring order, redemption, salvation
To this barren place within us –
Oh God, be glorified.

6/19/2023

The Wall

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I stood alone behind
My self-made wall of fear and pride.
It kep the world locked out
(Me with my fears, locked up inside).
There were no doors or windows
In this fortress I had made
(I couldn’t take a chance
Someone would see my guilt and shame).

One day, you knocked upon my wall
And old me of a light–
The light of God’s acceptance
That could put my fears to flight.
You said if I surrendered,
Laying down my will, my pride,
That He would be my fortress–
(There’d be no more need to hide).

Carefully, with trembling hands,
I lifted off one brick.
Then I removed another
(Thought I wasn’t moving quick!).
A ray of light came shining
Through the window I had made–
As time went on, I found
I was a little less afraid.

I took more bricks down one by one
Until I built a door.
Then I ventured out
(A risk I couldn’t take before!).
Not only did I tip-toe out–
I let some people in.
They weren’t a threat–
They were a joy!
I found some special friends.

I built an altar from those bricks,
Offered up my fear and pride,
Then found to my amazement–
There was more room for peace inside!
Tearing down my fortress
Was the beginning of hope for me.
Now life is becoming better
Than I ever dreamed it could be

The Day the Bullies Won

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I cried November 4, 2016.
Some of my friends laughed at me –
They said, “It’s just an election,”
“He’s only the president.”
“God is still really in control.”

But I have seen bullies win before —
Ones not any different than this one –
(Just less powerful)
Bullies who say “I thought you liked it.”
Or maybe, “You asked for it.”
Or, “If you tell, no one will ever believe you.”

Today’s bully wants to “make America great”
But this bully doesn’t understand greatness.
Greatness is not small minded and mean.
Greatness is kind to all (not just to those he deems worthy).
It refuses to be petty and mean when success comes to someone else.
Greatness does not continually lie about its achievements,
Does not over inflate its own importance.
Greatness does not traffic in shame and disrespect,
It does not demand its own honor at all costs,
As a result dishonoring those who serve with honor.
Greatness finds no delight in continually doing wrong.
It is not afraid of truth.

Someone truly great knows how to serve others, not just himself.

62 days til the election…..

God have mercy on us!

My Cup of Sorrow (a dream)

Teresa Norman2 Comments

Dreamed tonight of my cup of sorrow–
Sitting in a garden on a stone table, moonlight reflecting off its surface.
Jesus said it was time to deal with the cup –
I tried to argue saying, “No, right now this cup is too full.
I can’t drink from this without it spilling all over…”
But the Man of Sorrows had seen each sorrow when it came into my life.
He walked with me into the garden as together, we approached the cup….
When I was an innocent child and the monsters came-it was not my fault
He too was hated and rejected by people (Is 53:3)
When they told me never to speak of it again-and I locked myself in silence, gave up my voice
He too was beaten down and punished but he didn’t say a word. (IS 53:7)
When I was raped at school and went home feeling violated and alone
He was wounded for this wrong (Is 53:5)
When others dumped their shame on me, saying “If something bad happened, you deserved it.”
People would not even look at him either (Is 53:3)
When they said I was worthless and everyone I loved would abandon me
He was hated and we didn’t even notice him either (Is 53:3)
When I found the nest of snakes and memories came back of being covered with them
He was wounded and crushed for this evil (Is 53:5)
When I could not carry Dad’s depression for him and wanted to die from the weight of it
He took our suffering on him and felt our pain for us (Is 53:4)
When those I loved suffered and I could not protect them from
We are being healed because of his wounds. (Is 53:5)

April 2020

Songs that help:
Under My Feet-Zach Williams
The Hidden Face of God-Michael Card …
The Suffering Symbol-Michael Card
Arise My Love-Michael Card

Stay With the Story (Poem)

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Too easy to leave the scene on Good Friday
Convinced Hope has died and the story is over …
Even the disciples,
These ones who were chosen
Who had seen water turned to wine,
Loaves and fishes multiplied
Dead people raised
Blind people seeing and lepers cleansed
Still left confused and afraid…thinking they were abandoned.

I am so like them….
When dreams die or hope is buried
When I am dead
In my woundedness
Or pride
Or failures
Or unforgiveness
I so easily lose my way-sink back to the pit I came from…

But the finder of lost sheep (and lost disciples)
Does not abandon us on the shores of our desolation
Because He knows our hearts better than we ever will
He will meet us on the shore with fresh fish on the fire
To feed our hungry souls. He knows we are human.

Hope will rise again.

Teresa Norman April 2020

Like Water for the Thirsty (Poem)

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Lord, you know there’s times I’ve tried to run
But now I come to give You thanks for all You’ve done.
I don’t know why it is I couldn’t see before
That the hands that were reaching out to me were Yours.

I guess that sometimes pride gets in the way—
We turn aside to try to hide the pain.
So much is lost I know You gave Your life to gain,
So now I come to give thanks in Your name.

Now when my little girls ask how to see You,
How can they really know that You’re around.
You’ve given me an answer I can share with them—
They can see You in Your people—
That’s where You’re found.

Thank You, Lord, for all You’ve done.
You gave me friends that brought me hope again.
Their kindness and their mercy
Were like water to the thirsty.
I’ve seen You in my friends
And I thank You, Lord.

Teresa Norman 1988

Kaleidoscope (Poem)

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Broken pieces gathered together
Reflecting the love of the Father of Light
Each carries a portion
Of the grace that sustains us-
Brings beauty from ashes,
And songs of deliverance
In the darkest of nights.

We have been rescued
From the things that have shattered
The lives that we thought we had planned.
Brought back from destruction
Redeemed and forgiven
Made vessels of honor
To be held in His hands.

Light of the spirit
Shine in our darkness
Bring forth Your beauty and light
May these broken pieces
Empowered by your mercy
Serve with rejoicing
Listen with humility
Walk in love out into the night

Teresa Norman  June 2017

Where Are Your Poor? (Poem)

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“Where are your poor?” our Honduran guest said.
I was humbled by his words.
His eyes had observed that our country is rich,
Richer even than what he had heard.

In his country many are poor,
Much more than we’ll ever see.
His church gives away what little it has
Trying to meet their needs.

We give a little while they give a lot
(Seems like the reverse should be true).
Forgive us, Lord, for failing to see
How many times we ignore You.

Give us hearts to see You, Lord,
In the hungry, poor and cold.
Give us hearts to gladly share
Our lives and the things we hold…
To value our brother more than our comfort.
To know when we give, we receive,
And that we can never out-give Your provision—
Help us live what we say we believe!

Teresa Norman , July 2000

Tapestry (poem)

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Our lives are as a tapestry
He weaves the threads so knowingly.
We don’t always understand
‘Cause we don’t see the Master’s plan.
We walk together yet alone-
The load each carries is his own
(Although sometimes we share the joy and pain).

Others have walked before us
On this road we’re traveling on.
By learning from their stories
We can see what makes you strong!
They left us Steps to follow
To a better way to live.
They shared what they were given-
Now we’ve got something to give!

When they look into our eyes
And see His love (they’re not despised)-
Their human pain and brokenness we share.
Our lives a portrait that He weaves,
His grace together we receive.
Together is much better than alone!

Even when the road looks long
And the mountains hard to climb,
If we’re walking with our brother
There’s a strength that we can find!
It’s the strength that comes from giving away
The grace we’re given today
And sharing our lives
Ina fellowship of friends.

(written for a funeral-can’t remember the year)

Teresa Norman

The Empath’s Choice (Poem)

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Raging river, gentle stream

Wild tsunami or hurricane

Volcanic eruption spewing ash about

Or flowers blooming when the sun comes out

Gentle breezes, gale force winds

Breaking branches, chaos again

Holy fire, life giving flame

Gift of passion bringing life and change

 

In the confusion, the noise and the change

The only constant is to cling to His name

The loving creator of earth wind and flame

Calls us to follow through all the of the change

He is the harbor, the anchor, the rest….

The one who can harness the power of His gifts

And keep them from crushing the vessel He made

To give honor and glory and praise to His name.

 

(I dreamed of a woman standing in the center of the dark wooded night with fire in her hands…having to make a choice.  Would she place the fire in the fire pit to bring warmth and light to the darkness and those gathered there, or would she loose the fire in uncontrolled ways that would “burn down paradise?  May God help us choose the wise use of our gifts!)

 

Feb 20, 2019

A Trip to Pandora (Poem)

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Feb 2020

Today I returned to a journey I started long ago….

Meeting with others, sharing stories, talking truth…

Some people would say this is opening “Pandora’s box” –

It will let out all manner of troubles.

I’ve peeked inside this box before then shoved the lid back down tight,

Ran as fast as I could…

Tried to “unsee” what was seen.

Always figured I’d seen enough of what was in the box…

Dealt with what I saw and moved on…

(But not so fast…)

 

Troubles still arise uninvited.

Connections made to the things that crawled out of hiding long ago.

I have not outrun them as successfully as I had hoped.

(Perhaps hope was the problem?)

No one else in my gene pool had managed to outrun these things….

Some people sing “Blessed be the tie that binds….” –

In my biological family it was more like

“The chains that bind won’t go away.

You can’t escape what people say….

You’ll never belong so don’t even try…”

(But the story is not over……)

 

There is a God who saw me in my weakness,

He saw me in my trouble and loves me-one of the “least of these”.

This changes everything…I mean everything!

Trouble is not new to Him.

The Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief…

The Shepherd who searches for one lost sheep

The Master Potter who fixes broken vessels-

Restores them and makes them usable….

Hope is the answer – His name is Jesus

And He is mending my soul.

 

The Crystal Vase

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Like a crystal vase smashed against the cement wall
The little girl was fractured by life’s blows.
Now hidden deep inside lie the pieces she can’t find-
The broken parts no one but Jesus knows….

Like catacombs in ancient Rome there are tunnels here…
She’s been lost in them and hiding out for years.
But she’s tired of trying to run  
She knows a change has got to come.
Believing He has seen it all and loves her still
And the emptiness is one that He can fill.

She was blinded by her tears,
Held captive to her fears,
Not sure if she should let His light shine in...
But when His love breaks through 
Mended broken things become new
Reflecting once again His marvelous light….

'Cause He’s picking up the pieces of her shattered life
Cradling them gently in His nail scarred hands.
With tender love He comes to heal
Wounds she tries hard not to feel
And let her know she’s still precious in His sight –
That she will be alright.

(Written for a friend December 19, 1991. But like so many of my poems, still being worked out in my own life.  Grateful for a church community where broken people are welcome and redemption, grace, compassion, and humilty are seen as essential parts of faith…..)