I don’t know what to think, to say or admit this all is real-

I’m scared and overwhelmed by how this cancer makes me feel. There’s nothing simple happening here-

snap the fingers and it’s gone-

God, I’ve got to lean on you to help me be strong.

I know I’m blessed to live here with a husband I adore 

(so many folks don’t have that gift or a family. from whom love pours). 

So God, please help me with the tiredness, confusion and fear and with my hand in Your hand walk in the pastures you’ve prepared. 

Help me listen to the birds you made, hear their gentle songs of praise. Let me lie here looking at the stars-see your majesty displayed! 

Let me hear the movement of the stream upon the rocks that cry out Your name. 

Like these rocks, oh God, help my heart to give You endless  praise. I know You won’t forget me-

You have brought us safe this far. 

Watch over my lambs, and let them know You’re with them wherever they are. 

I’m grateful but I’m grieving all the losses that I see, 

But I know that I know that I know that I know-

You have not forgotten me.