INSOMNIAC
In the night when things are quiet
My brain decides to start a riot
No enemy to battle, so it fights with me
And my imagination is cut loose, dangerously free!
Worries pop up like mushrooms in manure
The fence is unlocked – my mind runs off to wander
Unsupervised, troublemaking – we’ll wait and see
How much trouble this adventure is gonna cause me.
What will go wrong? Complications are frequent
In this surgery hurtling at me like a 2000 lb. bomb…
Can I be tough, stay positive, will I fold or stay strong?
Only God knows (and as usual, He’s not telling).
Things will be better when this is all done
“Cause there’s nothing new anywhere under the sun
I have no control of what will happen
Just show up to get fixed ‘cause I’m obviously broken.
Cancer sucks. It isn’t fair.
I wish it was gone but it’s still here.
But I am so blessed to be where I am,
in a world where there’s help
(And I’m loved by this man who doesn’t give up).
So many people go through this stuff alone
But I am loved and grateful
Even though I’m navigating through this thick, damp fog
Even though I can’t see it, I’m gonna believe
I’m in the hands of a loving God.
January 6, 2023
5 days before a pretty extensive cancer surgery….
Jewels in the Ashes 